Parenting Through Trauma: Tools and Techniques for Supporting Your Child’s Healing Journey

Parents take every precaution to keep their kids safe. Sadly, trauma affects a lot of children.

Any traumatic incident is any occurrence that causes extreme distress, fear, or injury. Traumas can be caused by abuse, violence, accidents, or natural calamities. Traumas can also include parent loss, homelessness, and severe disease.

Traumas are incidents that make children fearful for their lives or well-being.

The psychological ramifications of a trauma might last for a very long period. Leaning on might be challenging. Trauma in children can result in post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in certain cases.

However, children may heal from trauma. Therapy is a helpful option. Children require additional comfort and support from their parents.

How Does Trauma Affect Kids?

A child’s feeling of trust and safety is impacted by trauma. Children may experience tension or fear even after a traumatic event. Some experience loneliness, sadness, rage, or guilt. They could believe that what occurred to them was their fault. Some children experience a loss of dignity or self-worth. Some people are really grieving.

Trauma can also impact a child’s behavior, temperament, or quality of sleep. A small percentage of children experience depression. They may appear depressed or cranky. Some have more difficulty or perform worse academically. A few have anxiety or difficulty falling asleep. Some have painful recollections known as flashbacks. Children tend to shy away from items that bring up their past experiences.

Some children express their feelings after a traumatic event. However, other children don’t talk about things. They could make an effort to ignore or conceal their emotions. They might believe that people are counting on them to “move on.” For some, words simply cannot express how they feel. A parent may be unaware of what their child is going through for any of these reasons.

The adults in children’s lives may not know how to support them when they suffer severe wounds like abuse or desertion. Many individuals think that specialists should be the only ones discussing things like psychological recovery. Nevertheless, despite their potential helpfulness, “professionals” do not have the same amount of time to have the same kind of influence on children as those who work directly with them.

The purpose of this blog is to assist parents and other caregivers in supporting children, adolescents, and even adults in their care who are healing from trauma or violent relationships.


When interacting with someone enduring trauma or hurt, it’s critical to remember two words: “encouragement” and “hope.” This isn’t about teaching someone to think pleasant thoughts to cover up all of their issues. Rather, it aims to provide a path out of the hopelessness resulting from trauma.

Talk about what transpired with your child. Trauma cannot be managed unless it is at least acknowledged as having occurred. The majority of individuals grow up in households where discussing “the elephant in the room” is taboo. But it’s crucial to have a conversation about it if you want to support someone in recovering from any kind of trauma or suffering.

When you start discussing challenging topics with your child, you are also granting them permission to do so. You’re teaching children that it’s acceptable to discuss these topics.


A helpful therapeutic technique is the “trauma narrative.” It’s a book that a child writes about what happened, sometimes with assistance from an adult. Every page depicts a scenario from the “drama,” with the trauma’s worst moment occurring at the finale. The tale might be told without a climax but with different parts of what happens if the kid has complicated trauma including several forms of abuse, including emotional abuse.

It may be quite therapeutic to assist a child in crafting their trauma story by having them sketch various scenes and write about the events that led up to the most important ones. When the book is finished, reading it aloud to the kid aids in their further processing of the emotions triggered by the experiences and aids in their recovery from the trauma.


Children are frequently impressionable. Teaching a child that they can’t trust themselves is quite simple. Children are trained not to have emotions or to think for themselves, especially in abusive environments. Typically, they are trained to ignore their own experiences and to follow their parents’ instructions without question.

Although it frequently takes time, teaching a child to trust their intuition is not that difficult. Start by explaining to your child the value of having faith in one’s own conscience or inner voice. Ask your child about their feelings even after a few events have passed. Your child will get insight into the value of introspection through this deed.


The majority of people and kids aren’t taught how to grieve. The majority of individuals learn coping mechanisms for loss such as “Don’t cry,” “Keep difficult emotions to yourself,” “Be strong,” “Move on,” and other similar ones. The greatest way to support children who have suffered emotional injuries is to educate them both how to grieve and how to express their emotions.

How do you go about teaching how to grieve? There are two methods:

  • One method is by way of one’s own experience. Here, you express your personal sorrow about anything.
  • Another is inquiring, “What do you miss about so-and-so?” with your child. Or, “What would you say to so-and-so if you could talk to them?” Make an effort to pose open-ended, emotionally charged queries.

Grieving is letting go of emotions and working through them to their fullest. Children don’t have the expectation to remember this. All children require time to talk until they’re finished, weep, become furious, and express their feelings. When grief is over, it’s over. Grief has no time limit, and people process their feelings according to their own timeline. Have a conversation with your child about these ideas and let them process their emotions at their own speed.


The idea of boundaries is one that you should discuss with your child. Both physical and emotional boundaries exist. A person’s body and physical space are examples of physical limits. The way someone is treated emotionally, cognitively, and psychologically is a part of their emotional boundaries.

One useful intervention for teaching children this idea is art. You may sketch an image of a wall, a line, or a boundary marker. Put characteristics of healthy boundaries, such as “respect” or “does not touch me in a way that is unsafe,” on one side of the line. List harmful boundary violators, such as “name-calling” and “yelling,” on the “boundary violation” side of the barrier. This drawing may be made by you and your child together.

Naturally, you must speak in an age-appropriate manner. Teaching your child emotional intelligence and how to be safe in relationships is the most important thing you can do.


Instil in your child the belief that discussing painful recollections is acceptable. Tell them that they need to mend their “hurt self.” Furthermore, convey to your child that they are not just wounded but also possess a “strong self” or “healthy self” that can overcome difficult circumstances. Hurt self will heal with the support of the strong self.

You can probe your child about thoughts, feelings, dreams, and concerns to help them understand what is hurting. Try to get your child to explain how the trauma they have experienced causes them suffering. Just have a conversation with your child if they don’t want to go that far. “I know you’re hurting,” say. Here are some ideas to support your own healing.

It is beneficial for parents and other key role models to acquire the skills necessary to impart valuable life lessons to their children, particularly those that deal with emotions. This can be difficult since most individuals don’t understand emotional health in general—mainly because they haven’t been trained themselves.

For your child, I suggest sketching two pictures: one of a wounded child and one of a healthy child. The injured child may have tears in their eyes. The resilient child could appear unwavering and worried. Instill in your child the belief that they have two “parts of self” and that it is their responsibility to learn how to care for and repair the wounded part of themselves.


Assist your child in recognizing the lies they tell themselves about themselves or about life in general. When children are harmed, they frequently develop extremely individualized ideas. Examples of these beliefs include “I am unlovable,” “The world is not safe,” and “I will never be happy again.” A child’s mind can be permanently shaped by any kind of detrimental, depreciating notion for years, decades, or even a lifetime. It is advantageous to assist your child in early recognition of these ideas.

Encourage your child to jot down a list of false ideas. Some of them include ideas like “I need to be a perfect student to have a good life,” “If I were thinner, my friend would not have rejected me,” or “If I were a better child, my mother would not be on drugs.” Work with your kid to recognize harmful ideas if they are old enough.

After identifying these harmful views, compile a list of constructive, restorative beliefs for your kid to use in lieu of the harmful ones. Remind your child to switch out their toxic beliefs with healthy ones after this. Make sure they realize that this process involves developing a necessary “muscle” for inner recuperation, which will take practice.

Consult a Therapist:

It might be beneficial to speak with a therapist if you have suffered trauma. In addition to offering support, a therapist may help you make sense of the symptoms you are dealing with.

The course of treatment will be determined by the symptoms the trauma has caused you to experience. It might include self-care, medicine, psychotherapy, or a mix of these. Treatments frequently concentrate on treating any accompanying mental health issues, such as anxiety, sadness, or PTSD, as well as assisting clients in integrating their emotional reactions to the trauma.

How Does Therapy Help Children Heal After a Trauma?

Children may safely express their emotions, share their stories, and get support via therapy. Children learn how to communicate about their experiences in therapy. They pick up soothing and coping mechanisms. They get the ability to modify their thoughts and emotions around the trauma. They gradually come to terms with what they used to run from. Children who receive therapy are able to develop their confidence and bravery.

Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy, or TF-CBT, is the name for child treatment for trauma. Talk, play, and trauma-healing educational activities are all part of therapy.

Parents also benefit from TF-CBT. It is normal for parents to be sad about what has happened to their kids. Parents receive the assistance they require in treatment. Parents receive guidance on how to assist their children at home.

Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) is an additional method that combines CBT components with movements of the eyes or body.

Parents can have a significant impact on their child’s recovery using TF-CBT. Their child is instructed to listen in a way that encourages communication, opening up, and a sense of closeness. At home, they assist their child in practicing coping mechanisms. When their child advances, they experience the same joys.

Parting Notes

At The Insight Clinic, we understand that the courageous first step toward recovery is asking for assistance. Our talented team of therapists specializes in offering persons navigating the path toward trauma recovery understanding and support. We provide a safe, supportive space for you to process your emotions, reflect on your experiences, and develop practical coping skills. Schedule a meeting with us immediately to begin the process of restoring your health.

Make an appointment for your online therapy session right away to start along the path to a happier, healthier self. Our sympathetic therapists are available to assist you at every stage.

If you or your child are experiencing an immediate crisis call 911 or go to your nearest hospital.

Parenting Through Trauma

Getting Help at The Insight Clinic

Getting Help at The Insight Clinic

Getting Help at The Insight Clinic


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