As soon as someone hears the term “bully,” they may see a child physically restraining another. On the other hand, they may pretend that they are a peer who is being teased in person or online.

No matter how they play out, these interactions are always risky and may change people’s lives forever. While it may be unrealistic to expect everyone to get along, we can all do our part to combat bullying and make everyone feel welcome.

Bullying: What Is It?

To begin, there is a significant difference between bullying and fighting, despite the fact that the two may often be confused. In a fight, two people of about the same size, build, and brainpower engage in combat.

When one person approaches another with more force and dominance, it is called bullying. A bully is someone who uses their superiority over another person to do harm or subjugate them. This superiority can be based on physical strength, social status, or even knowledge of embarrassing details.

A bullied person may feel even more powerless and unable to defend themselves when confronted with the abuser.

Parents and others in authoritative positions (e.g., teachers, coaches, and employers) may find it difficult to discern between bullying and non-bullying behavior, perhaps due to the fact that bullying often occurs in private. Knowing when to step in and help a victim of bullying is an important skill for peers to have.

Statistics show that bullying may take several forms and happen at any moment. Some of the most common forms of bullying include:

1. Harassment by hand:

• Striking or punching the person
• Throwing a punch
• Sidestepping another
• Intentionally causing another person to trip and fall (especially if they are carrying a heavy load)
• Spitting or throwing something at someone

2. Disruptive speech:

• Joking around
• Threats of bodily injury
• Using slurs that are racially, homophobically, or otherwise offensive
• The Use of Harassing Words

Bullying that is verbal rather than physical may nonetheless have a devastating impact on a person’s emotional and psychological well-being.

One further possible reason bullies act out: they want to ruin the victim’s connections.

• Spreading rumours about another person
• Withholding assistance from someone on purpose
• Providing a nonverbal kind of threat
• Criticism or slander directed at another person

While bullying, in general, is bad for children’s mental health, interpersonal bullying in particular may be harmful as it stunts their social development.

For what reasons do children pick on one another?

There was a time when bullies were stereotyped as “bad children” who enjoyed inflicting pain on others. Having said that, categorizing bullies as “bad children” is incomplete. When a child bullies another child, it’s typically a sign that something is wrong and the child needs assistance.

Harassment is more likely to occur when a child does the following:

• They see bullying behavior modeled by their parents or other caretakers at home.
• There is no healthy outlet for their craving for control, attention, or power.
• They think that intimidating others is the only way to fit in with their group.
• They justify bullying because it raises their social status.
• They aren’t given enough emotional support at home.
• They can’t handle emotions or empathize with others the way others do.
• Low self-esteem or insecurity is a common issue for them.

As you delve further into the roots of bullying, it becomes more important to differentiate between disagreement and bullying. In the course of developing our social skills, most of us will face what is often referred to as normal peer conflict while we are children.

Bullying differs from typical conflicts between peers because regular conflict:

• Rarely does it occur.
• Power is evenly distributed.
• You won’t have to worry about being hurt or endangered.
• Both peers are emotionally affected by the dispute.
• Both sides are willing to admit fault and work together to resolve the issue.

Bullying Is Regrettably Pervasive

Research out of Canada indicates that around 6% of students aged 12–19 engage in bullying behavior on a weekly basis, 8% experience bullying themselves, and 1% are involved in both ends of the bullying spectrum (Volk, Craig, Boyce and King, 2003; Rivers and Smith, 1994; Haynie et. al., 2001).

Polls on bullying show that the frequency of bullying is greater among boys than girls and that almost all bullied individuals are male classmates (Totten, Quigley, and Morgan, 2004). Statistics Canada (2007) found that sixteen percent of seventh and ninth graders in a recent study on juvenile delinquency reported being victims of bullying twelve or more times in the year prior to the survey.

Physical Bullying:

Reports of physical bullying by 10–15% of 11–15-year-olds have been found in studies conducted in the United States, Canada, and Europe (Craig and Yossi, 2004; Sourander, Helstela, Helenius and Piha, 2000; Duncan, 1999). The most common years for physical bullying to occur are grades 6–8, after which it gradually declines. Specifically, the Canadian Public Health Association Safe School Study (2003a) found that males were twice as likely as females to report frequent bullying, even though victimization rates were equal for the sexes. On a monthly basis, another 25-30% of children admitted to physically bullying others. More boys than girls reported being bullied once a month, which contradicts the findings about bullying behaviors that occur regularly (CPHS, 2003).

Verbal Bullying:

10%–15% of students reported engaging in verbal bullying at least once a week. Students who have verbally harassed someone were almost twice as likely to report verbally harassing others. When it comes to this kind of bullying, Solberg and Olweus (2003) found no significant gender differences.

Students who harass their classmates in a social setting are unlikely to be caught. Rather, their malevolent intents go undetected as the consequences aren’t always visible or vocal. Research conducted in Canada found that among students in grades 4–7, 41% reported being bullied or being the target of bullying at least once a month. Two percent of these children admitted to bullying other students often in social situations, whereas seven percent indicated they were bullied at least once a week. Totten, Quigley, and Morgan (2004) found that both perpetrators and victims of social bullying were more likely to be females than boys.

Online Harassment: The Shadow Side of Technology

Cyberbullying encompasses all forms of bullying that take place on the internet. Even in elementary school, students have mastered the use of smartphones, tablets, and laptops.The internet may help children learn and grow, but it can also make them more vulnerable to cyberbullying.

One major online problem is cyberbullying. Adolescents that are bullied online are more likely to struggle emotionally and academically.

Cyberbullied youths were half as likely to have suicidal thoughts as their non-bullied peers, according to the research. The risk of self-injury or suicidal behavior is more than doubled for children and youth who are cyberbullied, according to new research.

A study conducted by the Joint Research Center found that over 50% of the children surveyed have experienced cyberbullying to some extent. An online survey by Google revealed that cyberbullying is the top issue for educators when it comes to student safety in the classroom.

One kind of cyberbullying is following someone around on social media and then posting embarrassing photos and making fun of them. False social media accounts made for the purpose of spying or ridiculing the victim are another manifestation of cyberbullying.

The fact that bullies may reach each other at any time while online makes it almost impossible for victims to escape the taunting and bullying.

Types of cyberbullying:

Remarks and Conjecture

Spreading malicious rumours and nasty comments on social media is a common type of cyberbullying. A few examples of well-known social media platforms include Twitter, Snapchat, Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok. Data from 2018 from the Pew Research Center shows that 32% of teens have dealt with the spread of false stories online.

Pictures that Degrade

Another sort of cyberbullying is sharing someone else’s embarrassing images. The practice of posting naked images of another person online without their permission is known as “revenge porn,” and it is an example of this.

Taking the role of another

It is possible for a bully to try to get the password to a victim’s social media accounts. They may then use their account to post insulting things while claiming to be that individual. Another option is to create a fake account using someone else’s photos and material. Then, they may harass others or pretend to be the actual person.

Online Risks

By using the internet, cyber bullies may disseminate cyber threats directed at their victims. Someone may, for example, post a video with the explicit intent to do injury to another person.

The Effects of Bullying on Mental Health

Bullied students are more likely to suffer from depression later in life. Symptoms of depression include changes in food habits, trouble sleeping, emotional difficulties, and even thoughts of suicide. If a child is depressed, they may stop enjoying activities that used to bring them joy.

Bullied students may develop anxiety disorders. Constantly worrying about bullying may cause anxiety in students. Establishing rapport with peers, teachers, and friends is more challenging for those who suffer from anxiety.

Academic performance may suffer for bullied children. This could make it hard for them to keep up with all of their schoolwork. Bullied students may avoid school altogether, including missing lessons and extracurricular activities like sports and field excursions.

When bullied, children may begin to doubt their own abilities. They could think other people are better than them. They may feel unworthy of the success and happiness that other children experience.

Many negative outcomes, including stunting of intellectual and social development, may result from this.

Decreased Belief in Oneself

Bullied children and teens often have low self-esteem at the beginning of their ordeal. When bullied, many bullied children internalize the message that their tormentor is more talented in a particular athletic area than they are. As a result, individuals may feel unworthy of even being considered for an audition. If you don’t believe in yourself, it could affect other parts of your life.

A Growth in Insomnia

Victimized children can become too critical of themselves. The bully’s derogatory comments may have become so commonplace that they started to believe them. They may start to feel insecure about immutable features like their height, complexion, or hair color.

Someone who bullies has the potential to make another person feel bad about themselves or their conduct.

Improved Individual Privacy:

Because they feel so terrible about themselves, bullied children often try to isolate themselves from everyone they know. Children may spend several hours alone in their rooms while they are not in class. They may not be interested in going to school at all.

Keep in mind that bullying has consequences for the bully as much as the victim.

Children who pick on others are less likely to own up to their actions and more likely to get into fights, both verbal and physical. Furthermore, research shows that children who bully others are more likely to exhibit antisocial behavior later in life. Serious scholastic challenges, drug misuse disorders, and extreme behavioral concerns all fall under this category.

If your child is a victim of bullying, there are seven things you can do:

1. Promote constructive and open discussion

Make it clear to your child that they may come to you at any time if they are ever injured by someone else. Because they are afraid of being ignored if they speak up, some children quietly tolerate bullying. Teaching your child that it’s OK to speak up is important.

2. Collaborate with school officials

You should collaborate with your child’s teachers and school administration to ensure that your child has access to a safe learning environment. Do not hesitate to contact the school administration in order to express your worries over your child’s possible bullying. Inquire as to the specific measures they have taken to address the behavior.

3. Document the intimidation or bullying

There is more than one instance of bullying. It comprises a series of intentional actions done repeatedly with the goal of harming another person. If you want to help your child cope, suggest that they maintain a notebook detailing their experiences. Anyone who can help ensure your child’s safety, including school personnel, may benefit from having access to this information.

4. Encourage positive bonding

By learning the characteristics of healthy relationships, children are better equipped to avoid the power imbalances that may lead to bullying. Discuss the qualities of a good friend and how to tell the difference between bullying and ordinary arguments among classmates with your child.

5. Instill confidence and healthy coping processes

Asserting one’s own rights does not constitute bullying, and reporting does not equate to being a “snitch” or a tattletale. Think about how you would tell a bully their behavior is unacceptable and practice those phrases. A statement like “I’m going to tell the teacher if you keep calling me names because I don’t like it” might be used here. Say it again: there are times when speaking out is risky. If your children see another person hurt, instruct them to seek help from an adult immediately.

6. Support programs that aim to prevent bullying

School safety may be enhanced by anti-bullying initiatives. So, get in touch with your child’s school to find out what programs they have and advocate for social-emotional development across the curriculum.

7. Get some expert assistance

Studies have shown that bullying may significantly harm a child’s health. For this reason, if your child has been a victim of abuse, you may want to consider seeking psychotherapy in an outpatient facility such as The Insight Clinic. Working with a mental health professional may help them overcome bullying’s consequences, develop healthy friendship skills, and boost their self-esteem.

Final Thoughts

Parents take note! We must take a stance against bullying if we care about the safety of our children.

Here at The Insight Clinic, we know firsthand how devastating bullying is for children’s developing brains. Working together, we can make our communities safer and more supportive places for children to grow up in. If you want to know how we can help you spot, stop, and avoid bullying, contact us now. As a community, we have the capacity to ensure that our children grow up safe and secure, so they can create a better world for themselves. Get in touch with The Insight Clinic right now to start working towards a world free of bullies. A brighter future for our children is shaped by your actions now.