The Science of Resilience: How Children Overcome Adversity and Thrive

Although we often see childhood as a pleasant period, many children experience emotional pain, difficulties, and trauma during their adolescence. Children may be challenged to cope with issues that range from problems at home or with peer bullying to adjusting to a new classroom or online learning environment. Childhood may be anything but carefree when you include the uncertainties of growing up in a complicated environment. Resilience qualities are what allow one to flourish despite these obstacles.

It’s possible to acquire resilience skills, which is fantastic news.

Developing resilience in our children can help them cope with stress and emotions of worry and uncertainty. Resilience is the capacity to bounce back from setbacks, trauma, tragedies, dangers, and major stress causes. Being resilient does not guarantee that children won’t run into problems or feel upset. When we experience significant trauma or a personal loss or merely hear about someone else’s loss or trauma, we frequently experience emotional anguish, despair, and worry.

10 applicable tips for helping children and teenagers develop Resilience:

  1. Make connections:
    Instil in your child the value of interacting and forming connections with their classmates, as well as the necessity of empathy and listening to others. Look for methods to support children in developing connectivity by advising them to make in-person or virtual connections with friends via text, phone, and video chat. The development of a solid familial network is also crucial. Making connections with others boosts resilience and offers social support.
  2. Help your child by having them help others:
    By assisting others, children who would otherwise feel powerless might gain confidence. Get your children involved in volunteer work that is appropriate for their age, or ask for help yourself when they are able to do duties. Discuss ideas for helping others in their class or in grades below with the children at school.
  3. Maintain a daily routine:
    Children, especially younger ones who need structure in their life, often find solace in routine. Together, you should establish a schedule that includes designated times for play and schoolwork. You may need to be adaptable to some routines, especially during difficult or transitional periods. Maintaining timetables and consistency is crucial at the same time.
  4. Take a break:
    Although a certain amount of anxiousness might spur us to action, we must also acknowledge and accept all emotions. Show your children how to concentrate on things they can influence or take action on. Encourage them to consider the likelihood of the worst-case situation and what they may say to a buddy who is experiencing similar concerns in order to help them overcome their unjustified fears. Be mindful of the potentially upsetting content your child is exposed to, whether it comes from the news, the internet, or overheard conversations. Include unstructured time in the school day to enable students to be creative, even if schools are obligated to deliver a particular curriculum or are held accountable for student achievement.
  5. Teach your child self-care:
    Instil in your children the value of fundamental self-care. Making more time for healthy eating, exercise, and restful sleep might help with this. Make sure your children get time to enjoy themselves and engage in things they like. Children who take care of themselves and even have fun will be more balanced and able to handle difficult situations.
  6. Move toward your goals:
    Help your child develop and achieve appropriate objectives by guiding them step by step. Children who set objectives will be better able to concentrate on a particular task and develop the resilience needed to overcome obstacles. For younger students, break down big school tasks into manageable goals. For older students, recognize your progress toward bigger objectives.
  7. Nurture a positive self-view:
    Assist your child in recalling how they overcame adversity in the past and in realising that these experiences fortify them to face difficulties in the future. Encourage your child to develop self-confidence in their ability to solve challenges and make wise choices. Assist children in understanding how their individual successes affect the class’s overall well-being in the classroom.
  8. Keep things in perspective and maintain a hopeful outlook:
    Encourage your child to maintain a long-term perspective and consider the matter from a wider angle, even while they are experiencing really traumatic circumstances. Help your child understand that there is a future beyond the present circumstances and that it may be positive, even though they may be too young to think of taking a long-term look on their own. Children who have an upbeat and optimistic mindset may find the good things in life and persevere through the most difficult moments. Use history to demonstrate in the classroom that even the worst things are particular and transient and that life goes on after them.
  9. Look for opportunities for self-discovery:
    Children frequently discover the most about themselves during difficult circumstances. Assist your child in realising that anything they are going through may teach them “what am I made of.” Think about facilitating class conversations about the lessons each student has learned from overcoming a challenging circumstance.
  10. Accept change: Children and teenagers typically find change to be frightening. Teach your child that objectives may change and that unachievable ones can be replaced with new ones. Change is a natural aspect of life. It is critical to assess the things that are going well and to develop a plan of action for the things that are not. As students advance through the grades, highlight the ways in which they have changed and talk about the effects these changes have had on the children.

Resilience and Preschool Children:

Very young children may not be able to communicate their worries and fears since they have just recently learned how to walk and talk. Despite your belief that they are too young to comprehend the events, even toddlers can pick up on terrifying news stories or overheard discussions.

Keep an eye out for symptoms of dread and grief in your children that they might not be able to express. Have your children started to be more needy or clinging than normal? Have your children reverted to past habits that you believed they had outgrown? Have they been more agitated recently? It’s possible that they are feeling the weight of what’s happening around the globe. Help your children communicate their anxieties via play, and encourage them to convey things they might find difficult to articulate through art or pretend play.

Make family time a security blanket for your children by making sure they spend lots of time with you and feel the warmth of your family surrounding them. Play games, read to your children, or just spend extra time keeping them close when things are stressful or changing.

Resilience and Elementary School Children:

As they grow, elementary school students can begin to make new friends and take part in new activities. They seek to their parents and instructors to help them feel protected and to help sort things out when they begin to learn courses about the world outside of their homes.

Whether it’s at home or at school (preferably both), make sure your child has a place they can feel comfortable.

Engage your children in conversation. When children ask questions, be open and truthful in your response, providing comfort in the form of brief but clear comments that reassure them that you are watching out for them and are here to help. As they talk to you about their worries and anxieties, pay attention to what they have to say and reassure them of your support.

Limit the amount of news your children watch or listen to when there’s anything scary going on outside the house. It’s always possible that people take news reports they see or hear incorrectly. While you don’t have to keep your children in the dark about what’s going on in the world, you also don’t have to expose them to tales that feed their anxieties all the time. See how well they comprehend the information they have been exposed to.

Recognize that additional pressures can amplify everyday stress. Even while your children might generally be able to manage being teased or failing an exam, you should be aware that stress might cause them to act out or become angry. Assure them that you are there for them and that all you want is the best for them.

Resilience and middle school children:

Middle school may be particularly challenging for many children, even in the absence of more serious traumas, as they attempt to keep up with increased academic expectations and steer clear of new social traps. In addition to their parents, they look to their instructors and friends to help them feel protected.

Encourage empathy and assist your child in maintaining perspective. Help your child think beyond the present circumstances and realise that other children could be experiencing similar feelings of loneliness and confusion if they belong to the shifting social groupings that occur in middle school.

Discuss your personal emotions at periods of extreme stress with your child. Your children might be old enough to understand the value of hearing about your own emotions and ideas, as well as the coping mechanisms you employ. Discuss how your coping mechanisms support you, but look for coping mechanisms that might help your child as well.

Resilience and high schoolers

Even though your teenagers may be much older than you, they are still impressionable and can sense the anxiety and uncertainty that come with both the typical adolescent concerns and the happenings in the outside world. Finding the ideal approach to connect with your child can be challenging since throughout their adolescent years, emotions can be turbulent and near to the surface.

Even if it appears they don’t want to communicate, try to get in touch with them whenever you can. When your teen is talking to you while you are doing chores together, you can enable them to divert their attention. Alternatively, the greatest time to communicate would be while you are driving together. When they inquire, be truthful yet reassuring in your responses. Listen to their responses when you ask them what they think is going on.

Whether it’s their bedroom or another comfortable spot, help your adolescent designate a space as their safe haven. Emotions can become more intense in high school, and bullying, teasing, and rejection are all possible. They can have a space that is all their own and act as a constant in it. Even if it’s possible that your children would rather hang out with their friends than spend time with you, be prepared to provide them with lots of family time when they need it, and make sure that time is spent with their friends as well.

Encourage your child to take “news breaks” from upsetting events in the world at large, whether they are obtaining their news online, via magazines or newspapers, or from television. Make use of what they are witnessing and hearing to start a conversation. Even though they may behave as though they are eternal, they nonetheless want to know that things will work out in the end. Your high schooler will learn to communicate their own anxieties if you have open and honest conversations about your expectations and fears. Encourage your adolescent to communicate their feelings via art or journaling if they have trouble speaking.

Hormonal changes and imbalances lead many teenagers to experience intense highs and lows already; additional stress or trauma can amplify these swings. While you should be tolerant of teenagers’ moods and emotions, you should also be tough when they act grumpy or depressed in response to stress. Assure your child that everything will be well and that you have their best interests in mind.

The journey of resilience:

Resilience building is a trip that each individual must take, and you should utilise your experience with your own children to help them along the way. A strategy for developing resilience that works for you or your child might not be appropriate for another person.

Talking to a therapist or other mental health expert might be a good idea if your child appears to be trapped or overwhelmed and is unable to apply these suggestions. Seeking advice from others might help your child develop resilience and endure stressful or traumatic situations.

At The Insight Clinic, we understand the unique challenges children and adolescents face, from peer bullying to adjusting to new learning environments. Childhood should be a time of growth and joy, but for many, it’s filled with uncertainties and stress. That’s why developing resilience is crucial. Resilience helps children bounce back from setbacks, cope with stress, and navigate emotional pain.

Our dedicated team at The Insight Clinic offers expert guidance and support to help your child build these essential skills. Don’t wait for the storm to pass; help your child learn to dance in the rain. Contact The Insight Clinic today and take the first step towards empowering your child with the resilience they need to thrive. Together, we can make a difference.

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